Saturday, August 5, 2017

The Heat Is On

My nerves have been a little too edgy lately.

They leave me feeling like I can't relax.

But it's because I'm too relaxed.

The summer sun has my brain fried like an egg on the sidewalk.

The languid heat makes my life move slower than molasses.

I'm drowning in the sticky sweetness.

There definitely is too much of a good thing.

And now I'm stuck in limbo.

Do I want to stay where I'm bored or rush toward an overwhelming future?

Where is the middle ground?

How can I light a fire under time?

And how can I make time freeze when summer is so hot?


  1. Hello Kaylie! I understand that it's hot, I wish we could beat the heat. It's cooling off a bit I believe. I loved seeing you on Friday, and I love how you write your name on the board (I drew Flippers like the ones Brother and Sister wear) and since you love Sesame Street, I made a playlist of some of the Sesame Street episodes I like (if you get the YTD video downloader, you can download them)

    And here is another one of my favorite Brother and Sister videos, the one where they're in the snow, it will make you think about the cooler weather coming up after summer ends (I've even got the same jacket Sister wears in the video, I love wearing it to school during the cooler weather, it's a very special jacket that makes me smile)

    This week has been a stressful week for me. I have had many meltdowns, and it's been making me quite tired. I even had meltdowns my whole life during the many school years including Mill Middle and Williamsville South. I'm hoping that you don't get treated badly like I did. You are one amazing friend who can understand me and I really appreciate it. Thank you.

    And here's Mom's phone number for your mom to contact just in case you want to get together with me sometime! (If you like, you can come with us to Fantasy Island or Adventure Landing sometime this summer)

  2. Do you want to know why I don't want you to get treated badly like I did? Well, Emily teased me for going to Chuck E Cheese with my cousin Michaela once and it just hurt me. Do you know why I always carry a Paulie doll with me? Well, dolls like him represent comfort (despite the fact that he's a boy doll, I have lots of other girl dolls as well) I remember when Emily used to take that doll away from me and beat it up. I felt so humiliated when she did that. How would you feel if someone like her did something like that to something that you love so dear? Wouldn't that make you feel bad? She even teased me at a program called C-Hope, which was the main reason why I stopped going here. I'm worried that if you go to C-Hope when you're older you'll get the same mistreatment I did while I was there. Not only that, but every time Emily teased me, she blamed me for what she did and I got punished. It was horrible. Now that Emily has graduated high school, I'm starting to hope that someone at the school doesn't do something like that to you. You wouldn't want that to happen, would you? I hope that your mother doesn't tell you to fail classes just because they're hard. That's what happened to me during Participation in Government, but the good thing is that I passed. I was in Mr. Kugler's class, and when you finally reach that class, I hope the same thing doesn't happen to you. I rate this teacher as an "okay" teacher (he also teaches Economics and Global, and I had him for those classes as well). You are so wonderful and I don't want anyone to stop us from being friends. I also keep emailing my teachers that I want to be in a class with you. Are you hoping that happens too? I just love talking to you, that's why you'll see lots of comments from me on your blogposts. I hope you get a chance to reply to them soon.

  3. Hey Kaylie. You don't know me. I'm a 23 yo girl from Denmark, and i'm autistic too. I stumbled across your blog and I realized that this is exactly how I feel right now as summer is ending and I have to start a new bachelors at university. I'm so baffled that someone so young and so far away can put words on my exact feelings. Thank you. Your words have calmed me. Your words made a difference.

  4. It was so wonderful seeing you yesterday Kaylie! I loved swimming in your pool, going down the slide, being in the hot tub and getting kisses from your dog Scout! How wonderful this is! I wrote a poem just so you know, read it below:

    There are people who don't know what it's like
    To be teased of harassed
    To be blamed for something bad that happened
    To be threatened to get arrested and go to jail
    To be kicked out of a store because of your disability
    That's what happened to me
    I don't want this to ever happen again
    I get upset when stuff like this happens
    Because there are people who don't know what it's like
    To get called inappropriate names
    To get yelled at when in an upset mood
    To be yelled at when you feel things more intense than neurotypical people
    To get scared when you hear loud noises
    Sometimes, these things happen to me
    And I don't appreciate it at all
    I am an autistic who deserves to be treated better
    And I want other autistics to feel the same way
    Because there are people who don't know what it's like
    To be misunderstood
    To be mistreated for having comforting items that you desire the most
    To be mistreated for what you like to watch on your iPad or phone
    To be punished for being in an upset mood
    Whenever this happens to me, I get upset
    And I don't want this to happen to me or anyone else
    So that's why I ask you
    To accept me for who I am and who I love and what I love

  5. Ever since I first met you, I kept emailing my teachers about you and today I finally got an email from Mrs. Anderson. This is what it says:

    Hi Sophie,

    I am so glad you have made friends with Kaylie! It's going to be great having her at South with us. And I know we all agree that we want it to be a great experience for her. From what I understand, your parents are correct though, that for legal reasons related to your ages, you can not be in the same Resource Room. Perhaps there will be other opportunities for you to see her during the school day, including the possibility of a science class. It seems you both would like that.

    Enjoy the rest of your summer. See you in September!

    Mrs. Anderson"

    I was immediately shocked by this response. Doesn't this shock you too? We need to spend time together in school and outside of school. That would really help you not feel lonely and scared. Don't you think? I hope you get the chance to email your new teachers through WitsMail and tell them about me. That would be great.

    I hope I get a reply from you soon!

    P.S. I have your phone number, you might have already remembered that since I visited you recently

  6. This comment has been removed by the author.

  7. Kaylie, thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings with us. Feeling nervous and excited about starting high school is so normal for any teenager. There is no doubt in my mind that you are going to do well and rise above and overcome any obstacles that try and stand in the way of your success. You are a remarkable, smart and beautiful young lady who is a role model for us all. Keep shining!