Sunday, August 20, 2017

Accepting being autistic has been hard for me.  Getting various therapies has helped me a lot, but there is no cure for autism.  Growing up with the knowledge that having a happy life would be hard.  Miss out on so many things such as learning to drive, meeting young men, and marrying someone.  

Having my parents having to help me with so many things still is embarrassing.  The really sad thing is I can do all these things in my head, but I just can't get my body to cooperate.  My wish is that doing things for myself soon becomes easier.  Shame that meeting this wish is going to take so much work.  

Meeting my goals is important.  Used to think that talking was the most important thing to be able to do.  I really don't know if I will ever talk, but all my thoughts at least have value now.  Maybe someday you will hear my actual voice, but for now I'm typing loud and clear.  

Mom and lots of people can type with me.  I'm looking forward to typing with some new people when I start high school.  I've had a tough summer because I've been so nervous about how I would do at South.  Mom has helped me get over my nerves.  Now I'm mostly just excited basically.

Saturday, August 5, 2017

The Heat Is On

My nerves have been a little too edgy lately.

They leave me feeling like I can't relax.

But it's because I'm too relaxed.

The summer sun has my brain fried like an egg on the sidewalk.

The languid heat makes my life move slower than molasses.

I'm drowning in the sticky sweetness.

There definitely is too much of a good thing.

And now I'm stuck in limbo.

Do I want to stay where I'm bored or rush toward an overwhelming future?

Where is the middle ground?

How can I light a fire under time?

And how can I make time freeze when summer is so hot?