I'm fifteen now. It's an interesting age to be. I suppose I should feel different or older, even though this birthday isn't as big of a deal as sixteen will be. I don't feel much different, though I think I've had to grow up and mature a little quicker than others. Don't let the Strawberry Shortcake videos fool you. They are more a source of comfort than entertainment. No one is too old to be comfortable. I guess that, to me, getting older is actually all about comfort, namely being comfortable with myself and my needs. Self-acceptance is really a skill, and I'm happy that I'm getting better at it with age. I would say I'm aging like a fine wine, but fifteen is below that legal drinking age, so I'll save that joke for another six years. I'm sure that it, and I, will be just as good if not better by then.
I am always so encouraged when I make progress in certain areas and when people believe in me, but sometimes the trickiest part of everything is believing in my self.
I think that's natural and common for someone my age, and I try not to get too down on myself.
I do my best to ignore the "what if" voice in my head.
What if my skills plateau? Why if this is the best I'll ever be?
I should be asking myself what if I win a poetry contest? What if I get into a bunch of colleges?
I need to make the "what if" voice my friend and make her ask the right questions.
In the end, I'm in control, and the what if voice doesn't speak for me.
More and more, I'm learning to speak for myself.