Poetry

Halt It's Fall
by Kaylie

The trees are lovely and full of fire in autumn.
My soul crackles along with their colors.
I am prismatic.
I long to show people the rainbow that waits inside of me.
All I need is the right light and the right climate.
When I reach my autumn, everyone will see my colors burst.



The Day Gave Love
by Kaylie

I like to write my feelings out.
I want my words to overflow the page like the sea over flows the shore.
I want to flood that world with my thoughts.
I want to leave everyone breathless.

Back when I was little, I didn't offer many options to my parents.  Very overwhelmed when I would try new things.  Breaks were needed often or I would meltdown.  Can you try to imagine being some sort of parent who is afraid to take their loved daughter places?  My parents frantically had to live that way because I would have screaming fits all the time.  No one could calm me down once I lost it.  

Because of much meaningful work, have changed almost completely now.  I'm able to make much better noises when we're visiting new places.  Might be because my family communicates ahead of time and lets me carry my iPhone so I can free myself from my anxiety.  This is often the case with autistics.  We want to participate big time, but our anxiety makes it impossible for some managing of our fears.  

What makes me push myself is my belief my parents will scale things back if I get too overwhelmed.  Wish that lots of other autistics managed pointing to communicate.  It can help your many fears lessen.  You have an ability to let people learn another side of you.  Amazing how little my family landed correctly when they would try to guess what I was thinking.  Landed on thinking that I was making a play for food all the time.  Managed to eat amounts I always thought were too much.  Nearly appled myself out.  Soon mean to write a blog about how I overcame my anxiety.  Maybe learning from my experience, lots of others might be able to make progress trying new things.